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So i've finished everything on my to do list except my live journal final post, which will be this!
This morning i was 144.4, and before i jumped into the shower about 35 minutes ago i was 141.4! THREE POUNDS IN LESS THEN A DAY!
im so excited!
i'm going over my boyfriends house in about 10 minutes to watch a movie and help watch his little brother because his mother decided not to come home =[
still havent eatten anything except for my grapefruit breakfast!
IM REALLLY HAPPPY RIGHT NOW. another 1.4 pounds and i will be at my first goal weight!
Hope everyone did well today! | |
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Going from this:  To this:  Made in Photoshop Translateable?: Nope PSD: Yes :) Here @ ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif) pinky_place | |
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Hey guys sorry I haven't written in a while. Its been a weird week. Anyways. my fast went well which is awesome. Yay for me and everyone else who joined me. :) Has anyone seen the new lady gaga music video for bad Romance? She looks sooo thin in it. Lucky bitch. <3
Later loves <3 | |
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Today's overview:
Failurefailurefailure. I had a Special K bar (90) around 11, and then it all went downhill. I can't even admit how much I ate. D: I stayed under 1300 calories, which is barely a bright side. (fattyfattyfatty) My stomach is feels so heavy and disgusting I can't even get off my ass to workout. Ugh. Stupidstupidstupid.
Just hope that I'm going to have control over myself tomorrow.
Hope everyone had a good day. :]
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Height: 5'2"
HW: 135
CW: 124
GW: 118
UGW: 115
I don't have a problem skipping meals. I don't feel hungry most of the time.. and when I do eat, I try to stay away from carbs and high fat meals. Occassionally I'll eat a slice of pizza, but then I'll skip other meals. For a week now, I haven't lost one pound and I need some inspiration to continue forward with what I am doing. | |
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ugh....i feeel like a total failure. I've been feeling like this for like 2 weeks. I'm a total fatty and the only one in this whole flippin' website not making any progress. I binged and purged after school today. I'm the biggest girl out of all my friends.): Well, today i realized that my depression is coming back and I'm pushing everyone away. I've been thinking about killing myself for the longest. But in the past 2-3 weeks I've been more then tempted to do it. I think when I loose the weight I'll finally be happy.
I'm going to only eat 300-500cals everyday for the next two weeks then i'll do a week fast.
Anyone have any tips to keep me focused on my fast.???
I need to loose a lot of weight before Jan1st.!!!!!!
I'm tring to trick my mom into letting me use these diet pills. Maybe they'll work.
wish me luckkk
xxxx
melll
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Decided to post all the stuff im going to do today! (not in order of being done.)
1) Clean Room- Dust, vacumm, organize, make bed.
2) Clean Bathroom- Dust cabinets, organize under sink and cabinets, vacumm.
3) Clean Cat box- Change litter
4) Hampster cage- Change bedding, feed, re-fill water, clean wheel.
5) Iron my new work shirts- two of them, they are not wrinkle free =[
6) Re-type my essay for english(doing now)
7) Clean out my purse- organize and such.
8) Post to live journal my final day sucsess!
9) Hair cut- at 7:00
10) Fix my moms bracelet. | |
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Good afternoon everyone! I hope everyone is doing extremly good today!
School was good, physics sucked like ALWAYS!, i really hate my teacher, hes very unorganized, which makes me unorganized, which i HATE. I finished my macro homework, and reading for english in school, so i dont have to worry about those tonight or tomorrow. I have to retype an english essay i got back today. I got a B minus, which isnt bad. Last year in AP English i never got above a C minus and deffinatly went below it plenty of times. So i hope if i redo it i can get a B plus, or maybe even an A minus.
Still haven't eatten anything except the half of grapefruit for breakfast this morning, which im very happy about.
Don't know if im going to end up going to the gym today or not. I'm just not feeling like it, i just feel like relaxing and cleaning and such. And im burning calories while cleaning! so i think i should be okay.
Can't wait for my hair cut! My hair right now is right about to my boobs, and im thinking about cutting it about a half an inch under my shoulders. And then layers and angles and bangs and all that good stuff.
So im going to start my retype right now, then im going to iron my work shirts, then start on all the cleaning i have planned to do. I'm home alone for a while so i will probally keep posting, and commenting peoples posts. I don't know about you guys, but i really hate posting and commenting on live journal when my moms home, because i like to set my lap top up at the kitchen table, and i feel really uncomfortable that she might read over my shoulder or something so i don't post often in the morning.
hope everyone's doing good =] | |
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Sorry I haven't been around lately...shit has been rough but I'm starting to feel better. I'm especially feeling better because of this: I AM IN THE 120's!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fantastic!!!!! Although it's just 129.5, I haven't been in the 120's since over a year ago when I first met my boyfriend!!!! So I lost 1.1 pounds in the past week...without really trying, honestly. I bet if I didn't drink I would lose way more weight, but I don't really feel like I have much of an option. Especially when I'm tail gating at Notre Dame with my Irish Catholic family.
I'm finally beginning to see a slight change. I wore my ND shirt from high school last weekend, and it didn't look half bad on me despite the fact that it was rather short. My mom even said, "You have a flat stomach, why are you trying to lose weight?" But I could definitely, definitely look better. I just need to stay positive and not let all the annoying things in my life get me down.
Height: 5'2"
HW: 136.5
CW: 129.5
GW: 126 (by the end second week of December...no problem!)
UGW: 117 (or something like that)
Also, does anyone know anything about juice fasts or have any resources? I'm really into Bolthouse Farms juices right now, and I'd like to do a detox with something like that on Sundays to just get all the shit out of my system. If anyone knows anything, share the knowledge! :)
I hope everyone is also doing well!
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And a lot of my patience, too, but I finally got Sims 3 running after fixing some errors including messed up patches that came in the folder and faulty ISO mounting on my part. Anyway.
I'm currently running Sims 3 on the basic patch with the extra downloads that came with the folder (some from the Sims main store and others from TSR), which I gotta say was awesome because the defaults were absolutely scanty and in-between (some of those hairstyles I don't even understand).
Anyway, on to my harshened review.
I want to say first off I'm really, really disappointed. I'm confused, as well, because you'd think having a completely new version and upgrade of an old game would merit some form of absurd differences, but it doesn't.
Glad I didn't waste $50 on this tripe.
In fact, it's safe to say it's a downgrade, from my hours of looking through it last night. They tried to cover up this big wound by taping over a happy sticky via fancy lack of loading screens and pretty new personality traits for your Sims so you won't see, but the gaping hole is still there. I think I'm most irritated about one singular thing:
They took away Body Shop.
Not only can you no longer individually package and customize branded Sims, you can't have your Body Shop to make them unique. I was in-game looking for more sliders (under the chin, forehead depth, weight of the jaw, neck length, etc.) when I realized hey they don't have them, so I naturally assumed they should have a Body Shop located somewhere in the Sims 3 folder.
False.
You can imagine I was pissed, because the in-game customizations still offered only 1/4 of the customizations Body Shop offered. I'm angry all my Sims look exactly the same if you take away all hair, clothes, and accessories. They look downright cloned. And that irritates me.
When the previous version of the game tops the new one in that short amount of time, something is seriously, seriously wrong.
Look at the severe upgrade differences from Sims 1 to Sims 2. There is a clear and definite improvement there. With Sims 3 I'm thinking they just did this to pull a cash-cow stunt and make more money. There is nothing better about Sims 3 other than some ridiculous magic tricks to make you think it's better. On top of that Movie Makers (like myself) have a doubly hard time trying to get through the damn game with half of our modding cheats gone from the system.
I have the current list printed out, but it lacks 50% of what I used before.
The only real positives I could possibly derive from this game are a scanty few, but I will name them nonetheless because regardless of my bitching, I still love Sims (Sims 3 included):
-No more loading screens. That had to be one of the best things about it. On top of that everything still continued going on while some of my Sims were out and about.
(ex: Jimmy and Dawn--yes I made BD Sims who else would I make?--went out for a walk in the park and a tour of the local Theater while Aidan stayed at home chatting with local single women online and being a general charming idiot while running around the house in his underwear. I like knowing they still actually exist and live even when I'm not looking--feels a lot less like controlling inanimate puppets now.)
-Sims act 2% more like living, breathing humans.
(ex: I thought this would be the same old babysitting, puppeteer tripe but it actually was a lot easier to just sit back and watch now. They acted as I'd hoped they would, and interacted exactly how I pictured they should. Also, the relationship thing was absolutely amazing--the fact that the Sims could subconsciously fall in love with only certain people blew me away. I watched Jimmy cuddle and smooch with Dawn on the couch at some point, yet they never developed crushes, they merely stayed BFFs. Then later on Dawn was talking to Aidan when he suddenly just kissed her and she instantly developed a romantic interest in him. This was after Dawn went out a million times with Jimmy and flirted and talked and laughed and even kissed him. Aidan barely even talked to her. Talk about irony, but I was amazed she literally made that choice for herself. That and the fact I could see visible uncomfortableness even after she accepted some forms of affection, because one of her traits is non-flirty, but counteracting that is her trait of "hopeless romantic", so while she hates anything that involves physical contact, she craves the emotional attachment and butterflies behind it. It's really cool.)
-This brings me to another positive points--the traits.
(ex: their traits literally project them to make conscious choices of their own, and act a certain way because of their personality. I was literally flipping my lid at this aspect, because I had Dawn, Jimmy, and Aidan all in a household together, and they were all so DIFFERENT you could see the visible personality differences. Jimmy is a very clean person, so I'd often find him walking around and picking up dishes, taking out the trash, cleaning counters, etc. while Dawn would go find the most empty room in the house and sit there by herself--her trait of being a loner--and would get super uncomfortable when there were 3 or more people in the same room with her. I think one of the BEST examples/instances I ran into was the shower incident. Dawn and Jimmy both would just jump in the shower, clean off, and jump out, but ohohoho not Aidan. One morning I was completely ENTHRALLED with the image of watching Jimmy and Dawn eat waffles at the table--read: not really--and since the bathroom is right beside the dining room, I could see Aidan going to take a shower. I thought nothing of it, until he started singing in the shower. I think I died laughing for a good five minutes while listening to him sing in the shower, it was truly amazing. Other example incidents would be like when he goes to change, sometimes he can't get the dresser drawer out and he actually falls over when it gets stuck and he loses his grip. Little things like that truly made it worth it.)
-The relationships progress like real freaking relationships
(ex: no longer can you just make them makeout 3 times and instantly they are "going steady". They behave very human-like now, and no matter how many times a Sims talks to another, they will not irritatingly fall in love with them without your consent just because they talk to each other a lot. Even if they start kissing, they still might not develop a crush on the person! It depends on literal Sims chemistry--if they truly do not see the other person as a choice, they won't develop a crush on them, no matter how many times they make out. This may or may not be true, but from what I've witnessed, it's true. An example of how the dynamics of relationships work--after Dawn developed a crush on Aidan, she went and cuddled up on the couch to watch a movie with Jimmy, who she still has no romantic interest in. I forgot to keep an eye on Aidan, so when he walked into the room I can honestly say I could see the shock, anger, and hurt mixed in his expressions. Rather than the retarded "I beat your face forever now" reaction that happens in this exact situation in Sims 2, he turned around, went back into the other room, and cried a bit in private while trying to avoid Dawn lol. I thought that was interesting. Dawn came in later and apologized for upsetting him and his negative mood of "betrayal" went away. That was really cool.)
-You have to actually upkeep everything in the house for it to be functionable.
(ex: I like that the oven got super dirty after Dawn made waffles one morning, and you could SEE the caked-on grime inside the oven after she used it a bunch of times! On top of that the fridge actually is stocked according to numbers, so you have to literally keep the groceries in there if you want certain foods--or any foods at all. If you want spaghetti, you better have tomatoes stocked in your fridge. If you want PB and J sandwiches, you better have apples to make jam. I loved those different aspects--also that cheaper toilets literally are cheaper toilets. BD household's constantly gets clogged and dirty all the time lol because it's a crappy toilet. And I think--although I'm not sure--if you don't pay your bills your showers have a higher chance of being cold. Dawn took a shower two mornings after they received bills annddd apparently she was upset because it was freezing cold. Lol. I would love to see what happens if you don't pay them at all--do the lights go out and the food goes bad in the fridge? If so, that would be wicked.)
-You don't feel trapped in a single world anymore
(ex: this is probably the biggest aspect, but truly--I didn't feel like my Sims were so isolated anymore. Every time I walked outside the front door, I saw my neighbors next door going in and out of their house, and sometimes walking past us on the sidewalk. I'd see the father walking in with his baby, and them leaving to go somewhere. It was really honestly so cool. When I drove them to community lots, there were people there acting on their own accord. When Jimmy and Dawn went to the park, a family showed up and their daughter started playing guitar in the middle of the lawn while her family stood and watched--well some, anyway. Her father wandered off to go talk to some chick haha. I really liked the community aspect. Another example is the bitchin' community events they have that you can attend. Aidan got to participate in an eating contest at the local diner, but didn't win or anything because he got too full CX. Afterward he drowned himself out in some complimentary drinks haha. So Aidan.)
So yeah, there are a bunch of things I liked. Of course the graphics are better too--not speaking of the Sims in comparison to the Sims 2 custom content peeps--but more so the environment. The trees rustled at night, there's a starscape over the horizon at night, you can literally see the different lights of day, and the lighting in general is 10x more realistic. The houses are unreal inside. I remember when I went to edit the "guest bedroom" of the BD household at night while they were all asleep, and I set up this lamp on a table, and instantly the room lit up in a small glow from that lamp in just the section it was in. I was astounded because it looked so realistic and pretty. I loved how it made the room glow. I like that at night there's a moonlight glow outside, and then right before the sunrises you can see the different colors of dusk to dawn.
So after all that positive-ness, of course there's room for more negativity. The things I did not like, aside from the obvious "ZOMG NO BODY SHOP !!!111ONEZ" are of the following:
-No pets. C'mon people? Aside from the fishbowl, I REALLY think the Pets expansion from Sims 2 was your best expansion, yet you don't include that aspect in the Sims 3? Lame.
-No visiting other houses while on a lot. This honestly....sucks. For paying so much attention to letting the Sims explore their surroundings, they sure took away a lot when they didn't allow you to walk next door and visit your neighbor's house.
-You aren't allowed inside a lot of the "community lots". Aka the special ones you aren't allowed to edit upon, like the Theater, and the diner, and the juice shop. You can't go in more than half of the stores anymore, you just see your Sims go inside and--if its a buying store--a menu pops up, and if it's not you just sit there and stand outside waiting like some idiot while your Sims are inside. And no, there is truly no "inside" because you can't see inside. At least in Sims 2 all community lots were interactive and you got to see everyone else inside the building and what it looked like. This was a major downfall in my opinion. Way to make it more stimulating, Sims team.
-Hard to interact with NPCs. I dunno if this was just the one I encountered, but the first night my Sims went to sleep in their new house, a burglar showed up. Dawn was first to brave the waters and ran outside to go beat the girl down, but apparently she got her ass kicked and didn't try again, because the burglar just waltzed inside and sat down and started watching the TV. MY next literal 15 minutes were spent trying to tell the stupid burglar chick "Don't do that" because it was THE ONLY FREAKING OPTION GIVEN. Of course she didn't listen. She just kept walking around and turned on all our electronics and made a fracking huge racket so my Sims couldn't go back to sleep. At this time, I didn't know how to activate the testingcheats so they were all about to pass out. I spent a good ten minutes of my time following this burglar around, constantly turning back off the tvs and radios, and trying to get my Sims to stop freaking out about the burglar long enough to go back to sleep. Every time I managed to get them to lay down, though, they hopped back up and jumped around and freaked out about the burglar AGAIN. I finally figured out to try and call the police, which scared her off, but MAN was I pissed I had to waste that much time and effort on that stupid girl. Later Aidan called up the chick on the phone, who was apparently named Julie, and lolol they went out on a date. :|
I could probably gripe about a lot more that I didn't like, but overall, even after 3 hours I was still playing so that's a sign it's tolerable. I think the Sims development team has still not grasped the fact that the little, contrite things are what make people so interested. Buying some flour and mixing it in a bought pan with water to make dough, then going out to buy tomatoes to mash into a paste in the kitchen and mixing with cheese on the dough to make a pizza is fun. I honestly wish they would consider stuff like that to make it more interesting. I don't like watching my Sims sit there and cook by themselves, I WANT to be involved. I want to have the option to make things step-by-step, from scratch. I want the satisfaction of going out to a store, buying some apples, sugar, flour, and utensils, bringing it back home, and step-by-step making a pie, then putting it in the oven! I want to be able to walk into a diner and actually WALK INTO THE DINER and have my Sims sit down and have an actual MENU to choose from, with prices and things you can mix to make a meal. I want my Sims to go visit a movie store and rent a Sims movie (you could even go as far as projecting your own shot Sims videos into said-movies as custom-movies with custom-titles. They've sort of done that on Sims 2 before) and bring it home and actually WATCH IT ON A TV SCREEN.
Small, unimportant, contrite things is what makes it fun, and I KNOW they can do those things! They just don't think about it! If they had things like that, I would be way way WAY more interested and involved in actually playing! Honestly, they should have put more effort into developing the little things to Sims 3 than trying to rush to slap together a new, shiny toy for everyone to oggle.
And dammit, I want the option to have a re-match at kicking a burglar's butt when she beats my Sims down and damages ego.
But in better news, I fell in love with the Buy Mode background music. Singing angel chorus heck yes.
P.S. some screenshots under cut:
( This is a pitiful excuse ranking next to my Sims 2 BD kids. Oh well. ) | |
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I bought a sub today that is 1,200 calories. I ate half for lunch, and the other half will be dinner. Or dinner tomorrow. That's all so far today. Idk.
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I'm still stuck at 108.25. kinda annoying tbh. but then again, i only have myself to blame.
Tomorrow i'm having 150, but i'm at my mum's, and unless she'll let me take whatever she cooks up to my room, i'm gonna be buggered; not allowed to leave the table unless my plate's empty.
School wasnt fun today, it was my first day there since last monday, and it felt like everyone was staring at me, judging me. it's horrible. one girl was like "oh, it's a reaction to your medication" in a really sarcastic voice. i've never even told her i'm on anything, so more rumours are flying. it's horrible.
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bleeeeh.
today was a bad day.
started off the day with some frosties and semi-skimmed milk to get my metabolism going. (200 odd)
at break all i had was a few bites of a rice cake.
skipped lunch.
came home had spag bol :( stupid mother (400)
and a muller yoghurt (fat free though which was 86)
brings it to about 686 calories.
i feel fat and useless.
I skipped lunch and break which was really good for me becuase my friends always have a huge go at me when i dont eat and threaten to tell my mum. Thankfully my cold is helping me for once as its my excuse why I'm not eating.
Pretty happy when I got home only to get on the scales to find out iv gone up by 2 pounds since yesterday.
I nearly cried.
Going to weigh myself later on and hope I've gone down.
*Does anyone have any good tips on how to skip my tea? because my mum makes my meals and makes me eat them. I need a way to hide my non-eaten meals from her.*
taa
hopes tomorrow will be better
xx
love you allll | |
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Hi everyone,
I'm working on a new documentary series that will focus on women between the ages of 18 and 28 struggling with difficult issues like eating disorders, self harm, and intimacy issues. Let me know if you're interested or if you have any questions! Feel free to message me or e-mail me directly at kellylafer@gmail.com
Thanks!
- Kelly | |
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Good morning lovelies!
So today all I've had is black coffee and a cigarette. And I'm not hungry at all. yaaaayyy.
Oh and I know smoking is bad for me please don't comment on that. I've been an on-and-off smoker for years and someday I will quit. Just not now.
So my little problem to overcome today:
Of course, the stupid bxtch office manager (aka secretary I don't care what you call it) just came in to work. She's supposed to be in at 9 am, right? So I've had to answer the phone for her and do her little jobs until she gets here. This happens A LOT. Like multiple days a week. But she's this little old grumpy lady who's been working with the firm for decades so no one can fire her. The associates hate her though. So once again she was late and I was doing her job for her (I should get paid overtime, you know?? hah) However today she came bearing "gifts" for the office -- POUNDS OF VARIOUS SNACK MIX. Great. So now there are literally bags of pounds -- pounds -- of yummy fatty disgusting snack mix sitting in the office kitchen. Like not just trail mix. Like all that stuff that is loaded with sodium and fat. Spicy peanuts. Chocolate. You know the types. Ew.
So wish me luck staying strong today and not having any!! Especially with all the associates sitting around eating the stuff. I have to be strong.
So I'm planning to not eat until dinner which will only be a few bites. -- at least on Tues. and Thurs. I have class that I have to RACE to after work so I don't have time to eat more than a few bites. Perfect excuse. :)
Hope everyone is doing well, TT & SS (me especially today),
xox
- A
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So its tuesday morning, november 10th, and i started my november challenge diet on november 2ed at 147.8 pounds.
I was doing so well in the being! like so extremly well i lost like 5.5 pounds in three days, and then i had that one day of sort of a binge last week, and now its just been all down hill =[ I keep telling mysself that i will go to the gym, and im just so tierd by the end of the day that i dont go. I mean last night i went to bed at 8, thats so fucking early.
So this morning i weighed in at 144.4 im glad i didnt reach 145 or over though. So im still down a couple of pounds since i started to get back on track. I haven't taken adderall in forever and thats why ive been having so many ultimate fails =[
I took adderall this morning, along with my toe fungus medication that ive been on for almost three months, and have 13 days left and then im finished! and i had half a grapefruit (50 cals) and thats all i will be eating today. My mom said shes going to get pizza for dinner, but I know i wont even be tempted to have a slice because of the adderall.
I'm getting my hair cut today, and im super super excited because ive been wanting to get my hair cut since like the end of august and i havent gotten it cut since middle of aprilish =[ yuk i know. my bangs are totally out of control.
Me and my boyfriend are back together, and we are doig really good right now even though its only been 3 days but not fights and nothing has gone wrong, thats a start i guess? I'm going to try really hard not to cause anymore problems. I'm not sure if any of you ever do this, but any time my boyfriend does something that bothers me, like drinks, or talks to his ex, or hangs out with other girls that i dont know and so on, i always feel like its my fault, that if i was skinner or prettier or anything of the sort he wouldnt need to do these things. It's wierd and anoying. I know i shouldnt get mad when he drinks or hangsout with girls, because i hang out with other guys, well really only my friend kyle, who everyone thinks in gay anyways, even though hes really not, he just dresses nicely, because we both need to have our space and if either one f us getys to controling the relationship will suck, tahts what happened in my last relationship =\.
Soo i have school in about 30 minutes, il start walking over in about 20-25 minutes, i only live a 5 minute walk so its not bad. I have tomorrow off of school so im excited, and i don't have to work tomomorrow either! which im really excited about beause i thought today would be my only day off.
This has been my work schdule
Friday(6th) church from 3-7
saturday(7th) new job from 7-2
sunday(8th) new job from 11:30-7
Monday(yesterday) new job from 4-7
tuesday(today) off!
wednesday(tomorrow) was suppose to work at church from 5-8, but they closed the rectory for im guessing the holiday thing?
thursday(12) new job 4-7
friday(13) OH NO! bad luck day =[ church from 2-8
and then my new boss told me she would tell me on thursday whether im working this saturday and sunday, and it would most likely be the same hours. Good thing i have no weekends anymore =[ and school and work and boyfriend take up my entire life =[ roar
So another delemma, theres this kid in my physics class, and i've known him since 6th grade, im a senior right now (12th grade), and ive never had any classes with him till this year and we've been getting along reallly well, and kyle says we are always flirting and we would be a really cute couple, and then it made me start thinking, and I think i might like him =[ ugh that makes things complicated ! roarr.
So i have alot of things to do today, atleast im making myself have a lot of things to do today to keep myself busy.
I have to check the mail, my friend sent me somemore adderall so im waiting for that to come in, plus college stuff
OH! which reminds me I forgot to tell everyone that i got my first acceptance letter in the mail like 2 days ago. It's not the college that i want to go to at all! but it still makes me feel alot better knowing i have somewhere to go.
Clean my room, you know the basics, make my bed, vacumm, dust
Clean catbox
Clean Hampster cage
I have to stay after school for this club that im in called SADD, alot of schools participate in that club.
Im deff making an effort to post about my day to live journal tonight.
I have to fix my moms bracelet that broke this morning =[ bought it for her in july for her birthday and the clampy thing broke =\
Im deffinatly going to the gym today! no excuses! for atleast an hour.
I have to do my macro homework, and ill do whatever other homework i get in school day so i dont have to worry about it tomorrow on my day off!
And ill keep adding stuff,
So sorry this is so extremly long =\ i got a little carried away, if you read this and coment back i would be extremly appreieated by it. wish i could spell =\ lmfao.
HOPE EVERYONE HAS A GREAT DAY!
think thin!
oh little pointer! this works for me. If you have an enemy or ex boyfriend, use them as motivation. Like you want to be skinnier then your enemy and make them jealous, or with an ex boyfriend, you want to get skinnier and sexier so they look at you and say damn why did i give that beautiful chick up i wish my new girlfriend looked like that!
Love you all ! | |
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Today: fat free milk (100), coffee, a chocolate (50), macaroni (300), oatmeal (200), celery/dip (50) 700. Tomorrow will be lower. I can do it. | |
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heeey ladiees,
well today was highly a useless day ! :\
first this morning i decided to opt out on breakfast, cause i wasnt even hungry and drink water and have a vitamin.
but then lunch i had a 6 inch sub at subway (just lettuce and ham) but i felt gulity and i couldnt even purge cause all my friends went into the washroom there when i said i had to go ! :@
so then i promised myself i would skip dinner and just chew some gum, but my mother, told me i had to eat something and they ordered pizza, so i purged after. :\
but i reaally, gotta stop eating fatty things or i'll feel the need to purge.
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...Short for- Fuck. My. Eye. Mondays.
You see, shortly after 3am I sneak downstairs to run my fat off. Oh, Oops. DOOR'S LOCKED! :(
Now what? What am I supposed to do? I can't sneak out. I'm scared of what might happen & I can't even do that if I wasn't scared to go. My dog barks too much when I'm around.
What do you guys think? Anymore exercises I can do to get the fat off me once & for all?? The other exercises I used to do aren't as effective (affective??). I think. I don't know. It doesn't feel like they work. Anyway, my days have been on a downward spiral. Super duper depressed. Out of nowhere in school I couldn't help but to cry in the bathroom. I couldn't help but to release myself. I couldn't help myself. So I bit down on my knee. I now have purple-pink marks on me. I'm nuts, I'm aware. No need to comment on that one.
Whatever. If you guys could just answer my question, my day would at least be a tiny bit brighter.
<3 Feeling like a ghost, but you guys/girls are amazing. & I do read the posts. I just don't have time to comment...forgive me.
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Today's overview:
Not too terrible, actually. Special K bar (90) around 11am, then another one around 2pm. I got about an hour of exercise in. While I was helping my mom make dinner, though, I got a massive craving for deviled eggs. I had five halves/ two and a half full eggs (I don't even want to think how many calories that is.) Bleah. So I had to purge. Today's lesson? Deviled eggs taste horrible coming back up. Never again.
But a thing I've started to notice has been that after purging, my head starts pounding, like, really bad. It usually goes away after ten mintues or so. Anyone have any idea what's up with that?
Stay strong, everyone! :]
- Music:Picture to Burn - Taylor Swift
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After posting my pictures yesterday, I felt really gross. I'm going to fast Today, tomorrow, Wednesday and Thursday (hopefully!) I know at least Tuesday and Wednesday will work out, but I may be forced to eat something for dinner tonight and Thursday. If that happens, I will eat a small salad, fruit, or soup, since my roommate and I have exercise classes right after dinner! Wouldn't want to be too full ;)
Thank you for all the support and positive feedback! If you haven't, it would really help me if you commented on my picutre post on this page... I need the criticism <3
I love you all!! - Mood:calm
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Helllllo girlies
Hope everyone had a good weekend! But hey, if not, today marks the start of a new week and a blank slate!!
Today's a 300 cal day. I haven't had anything to eat today and I kinda wish it was a fasting day. However, I'm on the ABC diet, so I feel like I should stick to it. BUT I had over 500 cal yesterday b/c my family ordered pizza for dinner :( I took the cheese off of the veggie thin-crust kind, so it was reallllllly healthy for pizza, but I had 2 pieces so I'm sure I went over 500. I was so mad at myself. But for some reason, it's easier for me to stick under the limit if it's less rather than more. Like, 300 is easier than 500 for me. I think it's because mia kicks in and wants to binge/purge if I'm eating more.
So actually here's my question: Should I fast today to balance out yesterday, or should I stick to the 300 laid out by ABC?
Idk.
Also: Does anyone else ever dream about food? Like I have dreams about eating or not eating. And I also have had reallllly horrifying nightmares where I eat and eat and eat and get really fat. It's really bad. Last night I had a dream where all my friends were pigging out on junk food and I was really good and just ate a few raw carrots and celery sticks. :)
Anyway, I hope everyone's doing well on this lovely Monday.
TT&SS
xox
- A - Mood:satisfied
- Music:"Earthquake Weather" -- Beck
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i spent the weekend in north carolina because my older brother left to afghanistan. well, i left thursday night and got home this morning. it was fun except for the part where my mom made me eat. plus its my time of the month and im bloated and craving. i feel like a hog. i started a food journal so im sure i wont feel to guilty when i see that i actually dont eat that much during the week... im excited because my mom wants to move down south or to texas and im dieing to get out of PA. i dont mind moving i just want my family in NY to come with us and im sure they will so hopefully in about a year and half ill be out of this hell hole. - Mood:depressed
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I've been so screwed over with school and happiness and whatnot that I have forgotten all about dieting. Gah!
I think I may try to keep under 500 calories each day this week. Nothing but liquids (coffee) until dinner, and then a dinner of about 400.
Seems doable. I need this weight gone. | |
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So the day i was actually going to go to school, i cant find my fxcking purse. My school is a good 5-6 miles away, and i HAVE to wear a skirt. To get there i have to walk along a street filled with pubs and a couple of rival schools. This is after i've walked along a main road for 2 miles and the school partnered with my primary, and the people there DO NOT like me. So basically, walking there is COMPLETELY out of the question. Dad's at work all day, Step-mum's at work all day, no money in the house
FFS.
Oh, and i screwed up yesterday and ate a shitload AGAIN.
So today i'm fasting, then tomorrow 100 calories, then picking up ABC again on whatever day i should be on by that point; day 11 i think. yeh.
ugh. FML | |
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